A lifetime, a new world.

She spent a lifetime in a world,

To discover there’s another world beyond her imaginations,

A battle that she fought with herself,

To break the chains and free the bonds,

Pushed into the darkness by the allies,

Surrounded by a shadow that still haunts her,

Dreams of fear that conquer her sleep,

Like a raging storm that destroys every infrastructure of her hope,

As time passes by,

She knows it can’t rain every day,

It’ll all come to an end,

Waiting to see if it’s gonna end with a grey sky or a pocket full of sunshine,

As she waited she struggled with her thoughts,

Negativity at its peak,

It was like the devil wanted to possess what was left of her,

Everyone stood there, an audience waiting for the performance to get to the climax so they can clap,

She performed, oh she did,

Realizing it was never a show for them,

It was always her destiny, to witness the bitterness of the world,

The words of her mother and sisters, echoed in her ears,

She ignored for what it was worth,

She saw them differently now,

The change in their eyes,

As if she could feel their wild souls wandering for a laughter,

She came out as something no one could imagine,

Stronger than her fears,

Larger than her tears,

Conquering every heart with a smile on her face,

A lover,

A performer then,

A soul now.

Years have gone by,

Reminders still hit her of the pain that brought her here,

Sometimes forgetting that she’s beyond that world of imaginations,

After all she did climb that tunnel to see the light.

A lifetime against the new world of hers,

A difference no other can feel,

Emotions that run through the mind no other can feel.

Nonetheless she’s smart enough to know,

That this shall pass too,

These photographs will fade too,

These memories will narrow down,

As there’s a whole wide world beyond these stars,

A world yet to be discovered,

A love yet to be found,

Heartbeats still to be felt,

There’s nothing that she’s unaware of,

It’s just the reminders that make her drown for a few minutes,

Knees are bent, but just to give those toes a push.

Hope is a four letter word for us,

But for some it’s all that they have.

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My precious

My precious,

Don’t want to be a reminder,

Just a confirmation to know if you’re safe,

It’s never been easy for you,

All that you’ve been through and all that you’ve seen,

But you’ve never let it get the worst of you,

You’ve always been the strongest,

Someone who can fight the thunderstorm,

Who knows that nothing is impossible,

Scars or wounds,

I’ve always seen you as the perfect one.

Here’s to the hope of mine,

That makes me believe that you’re doing okay and you’re happy.

Stay blessed my precious.

10.01

With every passing year

It comes again

Full of joy and memories

To put a smile on my face

As to one of the most precious day of my life.

The sadness and the pain apart.

The joy within this date is beyond words

The warmth of that cold night is flawless,

You are my only.

From that cold night to the ones yet to come.

You are a memory,

Always have been.

No more

The warmth of your existence is no more,

The touch of your skin is no more,

The healing vows are broken,

Silence of words have taken over,

Your name is echoed under every breath of mine,

The need of you to love you is no more.

Hopes to reunite have shattered,

Wishes to hold you, kiss you, look at you,

Are still there.

Scarred

After all these years you would think that it would all settle down and things would be easier.

They’re still as hard as they were, but you’ve just learned to cope with them. Scarred for life, I never believed in that term to be honest but there’s always a path that educates you.

All you need is a single reminder to bring you back to all the trembles and the heavy breathing, to make you want to explode in yourself and finish the remaining pieces. Maintained silence shall break one day, just wait for that moment to come.

One soul that conquered you all along these years is also your savior, you might not have survived with the memories that they left for you. They still give you a reason to smile every single day.

No matter how hard it gets, the satisfaction that at least one of you is happy somewhere along the line is more than enough to wake up the next morning.

So what if you don’t wake up to that face that you imagined for years, you get up to yourself. Maybe it’s not enough but someday it will be. They can have their blames and accusations and if that helps them ease their pain then why not? At least one us gets to ease it a little bit.

Though we don’t even know if they even had any pain, but no harm in assuming that they did too. Me and you will never be together, I know that and the part that’s unaware, I explain to it everyday. As much as I can. Hopefully some day that part will come to the accepting terms.

World of reasons

As I sit with the blurred thoughts of everything and everyone that I’ve come across my life,

I see no meaning and no reason beyond a few words, the love that just compliments me because it’s just love from someone else.

A few years ago I would’ve sworn on my life for the meaning of loyalty but now it’s on the edge that even a tiny shake can lower it even more.

Every single one of us, claims to be loyal but yet we fall for the same old tricks and create a world of reasons. Something that questions the intelligence of the other demon.

All of us claim to be selfless but in the end we are nothing but the same old fucking selfish brats that we were in the beginning.

Indeed a lie 

If in a fantasy we were to survive, the colors of the clouds would’ve been different. Tears would’ve been of joy. Cities would’ve been crowded. If in a fantasy, we were to live.

Love ,a fantasy, indeed a lie, why do we still need it? A fabrication to overcome our fear of loneliness. Cheated by words and healed by the same words again and again till we reach the point of denial.

Vows, broken words, in fact the face of our invention. Written all over us till the day we find another path to bleed on.

Every day we die in silence, covering the parts that we left incomplete. A four letter word “hope”, as a reminder for waiting for that one last closure to decease the memories of what we called a part of our lives. No matter how many chains we break, they remain eternal.

Just to breath we create a mnemonic to save us from extinction and what we were and what we are in the memories that we hold.

After several trials in my court of mind, yesterday wasn’t the day I forget you. Today had nothing different than yesterday. And tomorrow isn’t the day I forgive you.

Miss you 

If I was to be honest, 

I can’t deny the fact that I’m loving it here in this beautiful city, 

I always imagined us together here, 

But that’s how life is, 

Now I only hear your name in the echoes that exist in my head and in the silences that I experience every day, 

Even in the most busy moments and exciting times, 

I take a moment to breath and bring your thoughts to life, 

As I walk through these stores, images of me shopping for you are refreshed. 

I miss you very much, but I guess I always will. 

No matter what every corner of the world I go to. 

I’ll always have you at the back of my mind, 

As I have loved you with all my heart and soul, I have nothing left for anyone else,

I can never feel the same for any other human being.

You truly were my life and my strength, some part of me agrees that you still are. 

I guess that’s how love works at times, 

A destruction that you never wanted but was simply gifted to your plate, 

As of this day we are miles apart from each other, 

Unaware of one another, 

Every inch of you is alive in my memories and in my heartache. 

Buildings. 

Walking through this busy city, 

I see tall and old buildings, 

Structures that were built long before my existence, 

Rotting old bricks, 

A beauty within the color that has faded, 

As I walk pass through them i see them looking down at me, 

Every brick with a story of its own, 

Skeletons walking down the stream, 

Each one of us so occupied that we don’t even look at them for th tales they have to share. 

Even I’m unaware of the belongings and the surroundings, 

As the sun goes down and the moon comes up,

Tearing the clouds and sharing its light, 

We see these buildings lighting up,

Almost as if they are all smiling at us, 

God, 

The beauty of these buildings in that moments is something that cannot be described in words, 

It can only be felt.

For among the millions they stand alone. 

Sometimes I want to sit there and stare at them,

Ask them questions about their existence, 

Even though the echoes and silences is the only answer I’ll get from them. 

I still have a wish to sit with them and talk. 

For they are the ones who’ve seen more than us.