Meaningless statements

Tied by words and hurt by them too.

Heated in the moment but scarred for life.

Every word or thought drilled through the heart.

Washing away what was done to what is going on.

As hurt less as it sounds, the more deeper the wound is.

Life as it’s best to push you down

Scared to take the first step

Both of you battling with the egos that reside in you.

Every mind to claim it’s own sanity and no one to take the blame.

Who is right and wrong is now beyond the hearts.

Values changing as the winds take turns

The magic to be used as the past as if it was never there

The statements that we both didn’t meant, meaningless but hurting the most in the right moment

The heaviness that they carry today.

The hope that they had because they had each other

Maybe it’s not dead yet. But who knows, life never stops disappointment.

So let’s just hope for the worst that life is going to throw at us.

The Bond

I never understood the bond between you and me.

Strangers in happiness

Companions in sadness

An unsaid bond between us, that ties us. Leaving you waiting till I hit rock bottom and enough heart to talk to you about what’s happening to me.

Today I felt the need to talk to you. Because it’s one of those days where I want to pull the trigger on my head and ease myself of the pain and the battle that I wake to every day.

I am to blame, maybe I failed to keep it together. Maybe my world is meant to be shattered. Maybe I’m one of those who can’t keep anything together blame it on me or my thoughts or my madness or my fears.

It’s been a year and I thought I had control over my fears yet I witness what was beneath me. They are always superior to me. I don’t even know why I want you to know all of this when I know you will only reply with silence.

I guess it’s my therapy to talk to you and hear myself out through you. When I know you’re just an electronic paper for me and my fingers are somewhat a pen.

Shush!

Silently you make up your mind,

Mumble the words in your head,

Decisions to implement,

No further discussions to the one sided conversations in your head.

The judge and the jury have taken a decision.

The accused unaware of the judgement that has been passed on his existence.

Everything that was once built with minor details now crushed by a stumble.

Accusations that make him question his own persona. Washed away with a single humor.

That is when thoughts start to struggle in his head, one to another, looking for a way to get out.

Lips sealed and the endless thoughts with no way to escape.

a silence that he’s been practicing his whole life, just continues.

Possibility

Is it possible for one person to be wrong about everything?

Is it possible that all the bad exists in that one person?

While they both walk together,

But yet the stones are underneath one’s feet.

Is it possible to see that evil in one person?

Is it okay to judge the one out of two?

Maybe it is that one who is responsible for everything.

Or maybe it’s the other one all along.

Words twisted to satisfaction,

Blames to be played just to make the words silent.

Walk a mile

The world as we see is different than what we know.

You and me are two different pieces of the puzzle, no matter how much we join them together, there never will be an answer to it.

Our sights of seeing what has to come is very different from what is to come.

In my thought I try to see the best in you.

In my thoughts I see that you see the worst in me.

Still hard to figure out what is wrong. And what is right, maybe I never will. Maybe there will always be that loop in us.

The standards between us are different,

For you everything you do is right and for me everything I do is justified.

Never a neutral ground to be found.

Maybe we both have to walk a mile to see where the other stopped.

Harmony

From your ears to mine,

There is no harmony anymore,

A tornado of stillness running between us,

Waiting for the stones to fall to break the silence of the night,

Unaware of what will follow,

The defeat of my universe or the starting of your era,

Look closely,

And you will witness the depth of my insanity,

A purpose to fulfill your sanity,

Compression of my wishes to view your beautiful lips spread to their limits.

a pinch of everything could make it right,

As effortless as it sounds,

The more difficult it gets,

The wilderness of our thoughts driving the sense out of us,

Draining our consciousness to last bits,

For what we fall is the same reason for what we wake up to.

Torn away

Staring at the door with hopes

That you will come back for me

That door will open and i will see your face again,

Sitting in these cold nights,

Listening to the winds that whisper in my ear,

Senseless words coming to use,

Tightening the bond between silence and the hidden words,

Surely there’s a deficit in my being,

That led to this disaster,

Maybe what they said was true after all,

That someday I will rot in my own misery of this silence.

A connection felt million times but always denied by the thoughts that are pushed for the purpose of sanity.

Still carrying the burden of hope on my shoulders as I move towards that door,

In the end, hope is all I carry for my failures.

Maybe one day the silence will break and bring a storm,

Something that I kill everyday within,

A storm of words that shall wait a little longer,

A piece of paper will always live for that and one day will be torn away.

Stained

Nothing to be shared,

When one is blind and the other deaf,

What is there to be shared?

The unknown words of us,

Dying In silence of one another

Life as we knew turned to ashes

Silence taking over

Only whispers to your ears and mine.

Am I too blind or are you deaf to feel where it goes from here,

Underneath the lying faces there is a fear,

Something to be controlled by no one but you,

Like always you fail to take charge,

It is your failure boy,

Looking for answers in the cold nights,

Waiting for someone to whisper those words of peace

Restless but not broken

Shattered but held

What is the purpose of this reality when there are marks that stain it daily,

My line of words

The words of us are the words of you me and the words in words of me and the words of you, meaning the world of words to me, every one biting more than the other.

Redeeming the insanity that I left behind, haunting again the living sanity in me of being tired and sick of my existence, it’s there again when it becomes hard for you to be with me, when there’s a suffocation in my presence to you.

My silence has always seem to capture the spotlight that I never wanted, I find peace in my silence, the rest in my world is destruction in another’s world.

I’ve been expressionless since my struggle with myself because I think they’re not worth the damage that they can cause, I don’t want myself to be open to the world to see to what I was and to what I am and to what I will be. My fear is my cover to my world is disaster, a misery in myself that I will face and bury the misery with myself and will always damage myself within the range of this pain. It’ll be always me.

I can apologize for being like that, but I do not know how to make it change over a night but I can try and I always will struggle but that’s a flaw in my Star that I follow. That’s my light to follow and conquer. To understand the depth of this chase I’ll have to kill a part of myself but isn’t that what I do every time I prepare myself for a run?

I’m sorry I can’t go on with this stupid line of words that don’t even make sense to any one. They’re also mine to read and mine to understand. They’ll always be lines and my head.

13.04

Another year of our untold story,

Every day feels the same,

Full of fears and pain,

I still wake up with your dreams,

Sometimes even wanting to dial the digits that’ll connect me to you,

But then there’s this hidden sadness and anger and unwanted umbrage,

Though feelings can never compete for what I feel for you,

They are far more than what you know,

I still fail to understand of what we’ve been.

In my world I still imagine,

I think,

I live,

Your smiling face and all it’s perks.

And oh the joy that brings.

It’s like living in a world full of magic.

I know it’s just a thought now and nothing else,

Nor do I have any hope to reunite,

As the choices that we made are pretty clear,

But there will always be a corner that’ll have your name all over it.

So this is just to let you know that i can never forget you or forgive you or love you less.