Today I’m here 

Today I’m not here to vent and cry. 

Today I’m here to talk about her. 

Today I’m here to tell you what she is to me. 

Today I’m here to tell myself that she is above all this anger and hate.

Today I’m here to tell the world how much I love her. 

Today I’m here to tell her that I still love her the same. 

Today I’m here to say that no matter what I say about her, my feelings for her are the same. 

Today I’m here to tell myself that whatever I say about her, does not change the fact that she is a part of me. 

Today I’m here to say that she still lives in me and always will. 

Today I’m here to announce that she is all I have and ever will. 

Today I’m here to declare that I belong to her and her only. 

Today I’m here to tell myself that even if the Suns and stars don’t shine together, they exist with each other. 

Today I’m here to tell you how beautiful she is, my love is.

Today I’m here to express that what I feel for her is the purest form of love I’ve ever felt for anyone. 

Today I’m here to tell you that no matter where I go, she is with me. 

Today I’m her to tell you that I love her very much, will always love her. Till the end of times. 

Today I’m here to claim my love. 

Today I’m here to protest for my love. 

Today I’m here to express my feelings for her. 

Today I’m here to explain myself that I can still move those mountains for you if you want me to. 

Today I’m here to tell you that no matter what you do, I still can’t stop these feelings for you. 

Today I’m here to tell you that my words for you are stronger than my will. 

Today I’m here…..

Because of you, 

Only for you,

To love you,

To be with you,

In every breath. 

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WE are flawed, she said.

We are flawed, she said.

Looking for flaws is just another excuse.

Everything and everyone is flawed.

Existence of love is flawed. Yet we drench and soak in those flaws.

Distracted minds look for flaws, A pure and beautiful mind fills you with thoughts of how those flaws are your strength and make you believe that the flaws move you, even with the cement block attached to your chest, you move forward, sometimes even backwards but they keep you alive for trying. That’s when you realize she was always looking for flaws in us.

Flaws are what make us.

Flaws are what give us hope.

Flaws are what make me love you even more because I never want to stop trying

A little honest to myself.

Today i think I’m going to be a little honest to myself.

I did something that i shouldn’t have done.

i did something which i know is going to haunt me.

i did something that is ethically wrong.

So, today i did some stalking of her and found out that she is with this another man now, after saying so many words to me and giving me excuses that she wants to be single and alone and all of that, she is with someone else now. someone i saw coming in her life when she was on the phone with me and telling me that she loves me and there’s nothing better than me. Well, look at that she already found a better person. I don’t know if i should be feel bad for checking or happy that i found out. whichever it is, i just know one thing that it really hurts and it really does.

I want to go my friends and hug them and tell them i am sorry that i left all of you for her and tell them that i honestly thought she was the one, but she never even thought of it that, Even if she says she meant each and every word she said to me then why did you find distractions in these 3 years time.

I mean common, you can cheat once and be forgiven, twice and again forgiven, thrice and again forgiven but how do i recover from this fourth injury that you have given me? I do not wish anything bad for you, i really don’t but i also hope that someday, someone treats you the same and that is when you will realize how much it hurts and how much you’ve hurt me and broken me. I don’t want any revenge from you i just want you to realize what you have done to me.

I read it somewhere today

“confidence is quite, insecurities are loud”

I replied to that BULLSHIT.

if anyone is reading this, can you tell me if i am wrong to feel insecure?

she thinks i assume, yeah i do. but am i wrong if i caught her three times red handed with another man. I still assume and panic and wake up with fears that what has the new man done to something that was mine once. I wake up and tell myself every morning that she is not yours anymore and you are nothing to her, but then i hear her soft voice whispering in my ears, reminding me of all the things you’ve said to me once. i know you didn’t mean any of it. “actions speak louder than words” if that applies to me then the same applies to you. They were only words to you and nothing else. she said:

You are my home.

i will fight for you.

I have realized what you are and i cant be without you.

Lies

and a million other lies like these.

Thats the problem with hopeless people like me, we know it all, we know what is wrong and what is right, still we continue because as i said we are hopeless and small loving words give us hope and we start to think that these words will last a few days and give us some more hope. although we are well aware of the fact that they are too good to be true for people like us but no we are too damn stubborn to admit the truth to ourselves.

I don’t know what else to tell myself, it is useless and pointless. I never listen to myself and probably never will.

I can just hope that someday i do.

We Are flawed, she said.