I asked a friend today if its possible to extremely love a person and also hate at the same time.
The reply I got was kinda sensible. I didn’t quite agree but it kinda made sense. That this time the love just changes the dimensions.
Maybe it’s not the person I’m still in love with, because I imagine that person and all I can think of what They’ve done to me and my life and you know how I broken I feel. But then as odd as it sounds, I go to places and meet people and listen to music and travel (very little), I notice that everything has a memory with her and every word that people use were once what she said. That’s when I remember all those times and that’s when I smile with tears in my eyes. I guess that’s me reviving the good old memories.
Somehow in this battle of ours, we actually forget what we were looking for and what we basically need. The more we try to run away from a person, the more the memories hit. Although I’m a stronger believer that we can’t outrun them because we built so many that they follow everywhere we go.
I’m still at that stage where I want to be friends with my memories. I like to assume that they’ll exist no matter what so might as well come to terms with them, where they don’t hurt and just give me a reason to smile.
As for the person, I don’t think the person who took away your smile can ever give you back what they took from you in those years. Call me pessimist but that’s how it makes sense to me.