I feel like writing about her, but my hands are not really willing to do that. Everytime I write a line they just automatically move to that erase button. 

That’s a lie.

I don’t want to write about her. I want to talk about myself more than her. I want to tell myself how I feel about it all and how I would tell someone if I ever have to. 

Somehow I have more words for her than I have for myself. I have more love and hate for her as compared to myself. Maybe that’s also about me. Mentioning her makes it about us and her. 

I don’t know what I really want to say her. I also know that it’s okay to say that over here because none of you really know who I am and what I am and what I was and what I’ve become along this road. 


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