Relationships are not what they use to be.
It’s not about love or hate anymore, it’s all about the practicality of a relationship and the perception of ambition.
Now I’ll try to make this as neutral as I can, but being a guy this might seem a bit off and maybe a little gender biased. So bear with me.
What are relationships? What are their values in this modern era? Do we value them as much as we use to? Or is it just another form of finding a cushion for your comfort at your convenience.
Some of us still manage to live in that bubble of magic that love is all we need and it requires nothing. As a matter of fact, the whole concept and meaning of love has changed over time. Nothing is kind of enough for love. It just wants more and more. It doesn’t matter if that love is for someone special or family or friends or even for yourself.
To be very honest, a while back I was the one of those who thought that maybe loving someone more than anything would be more than enough for anyone, because all we ever hear is that everybody is looking for some mad unconditional love and how it’s really hard to find. So I thought maybe I achieved that and that would be a lot. Like I said, love is never enough in this time.
For beginners, love is magic, it changes how you see things differently and how every little stupid thing makes sense to you. As we move on with time and discover that the colorful stuff that we saw is becoming all grey and black. (Some might think that I’m just generalizing my experiences).
Point being, as we move forward with the so called love, we realize how materials become important and how gestures and words are never enough to fulfill the needs. We start running in that race we call ambitions, where more and more is expected from you. Some might be able to achieve that point, but some just don’t and are labeled “non-ambitious”.
After being in a relationship for too long, we realize that the other person should’ve changed with you. When the truth of the matter is that you want them to change themselves for you. Is it really that hard to love someone for whatever or whoever they are? Wasn’t love is just enough when it all started? Now I know some of the changes that you expect are just out of care and probably for their betterment too. And you probably think that you’ve changed a lot for them, but you just achieved something for yourself and you expect the other person to do the same, although a thought that is lost in between is that not every human being is same. Everybody has their own perception. But being in this race of modern life we actually forget to consider the thoughts of the person we are with and how it might effect them from the inside.
Now I know from my very little experiences that if a person truly loves you, they’d probably be quite to such criticism as they wouldn’t want you to think that your thoughts of caring are wrong. Does it really have to be one way? I don’t think so. Everybody deserves their freedom of living what they are and how they are. If that doesn’t come to your satisfaction you should’ve thought of that before trying to change how they look and think about things.
There’s a lot of criticism and contradiction in this whole thing. All opinions and thoughts matter. So feel free to open your mind to it.
I remember me being in love with my girlfriend, mind you, being crazy in love with my girlfriend. I thought that this was it and I’ve achieved everything that I ever wanted and I have the perfect companion for my life. It was all so beautiful for good three years. It had its ups and downs but to cut it short it included: crazy love, sex, intensity, long distance, cheating, my education, her demands for education(which were not wrong) and many more.
I know for fact that half of you reading this would think that I cheated on her, I did not. She did. Three times in three years. The other half would call me crazy for staying after the first time and some might also think that her reasons for leaving were right.
But you know what, not in that very moment. Much later I understood the reasons for her cheating and the breaking of our relationship. It was mostly because I never said anything back and tried too hard to understand her thoughts and just bottled up mine. I always considered being quite to her irrational stuff is giving her respect when it was actually letting her know that she’s all alone in this. She didn’t think for once why I was doing this, or what’s the reason for me not completing my education. Although I did mention but she never took the time to process it from my shoes.
She loved me very much, her words. But like I said love is just like a word now. Because my actions were always more to her than my love back then, and her words are just words for me now. That doesn’t mean I’ve moved on, I’m still stuck on those post break up calls and words. I’m still attached to all the pictures and moments and streets and whatever I shared with her,almost everything. Like a hopeless lover I still wake up at night and look at her pictures for hours and imagine of what and how it could’ve been.
Something hit me months ago, when I wondered around articles and peoples experiences that’s when I realized that love is nothing but a word now. You need to follow instructions and lead at the same time. You have to kill a part of yourself to revive the part you call “us”.
Not trying to be negative here, because I also know that there’s no such feeling as the one being in love. Fascinating feeling. It’s the process that follows.