No more

The warmth of your existence is no more,

The touch of your skin is no more,

The healing vows are broken,

Silence of words have taken over,

Your name is echoed under every breath of mine,

The need of you to love you is no more.

Hopes to reunite have shattered,

Wishes to hold you, kiss you, look at you,

Are still there.

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Scarred

After all these years you would think that it would all settle down and things would be easier.

They’re still as hard as they were, but you’ve just learned to cope with them. Scarred for life, I never believed in that term to be honest but there’s always a path that educates you.

All you need is a single reminder to bring you back to all the trembles and the heavy breathing, to make you want to explode in yourself and finish the remaining pieces. Maintained silence shall break one day, just wait for that moment to come.

One soul that conquered you all along these years is also your savior, you might not have survived with the memories that they left for you. They still give you a reason to smile every single day.

No matter how hard it gets, the satisfaction that at least one of you is happy somewhere along the line is more than enough to wake up the next morning.

So what if you don’t wake up to that face that you imagined for years, you get up to yourself. Maybe it’s not enough but someday it will be. They can have their blames and accusations and if that helps them ease their pain then why not? At least one us gets to ease it a little bit.

Though we don’t even know if they even had any pain, but no harm in assuming that they did too. Me and you will never be together, I know that and the part that’s unaware, I explain to it everyday. As much as I can. Hopefully some day that part will come to the accepting terms.

World of reasons

As I sit with the blurred thoughts of everything and everyone that I’ve come across my life,

I see no meaning and no reason beyond a few words, the love that just compliments me because it’s just love from someone else.

A few years ago I would’ve sworn on my life for the meaning of loyalty but now it’s on the edge that even a tiny shake can lower it even more.

Every single one of us, claims to be loyal but yet we fall for the same old tricks and create a world of reasons. Something that questions the intelligence of the other demon.

All of us claim to be selfless but in the end we are nothing but the same old fucking selfish brats that we were in the beginning.

Indeed a lie 

If in a fantasy we were to survive, the colors of the clouds would’ve been different. Tears would’ve been of joy. Cities would’ve been crowded. If in a fantasy, we were to live.

Love ,a fantasy, indeed a lie, why do we still need it? A fabrication to overcome our fear of loneliness. Cheated by words and healed by the same words again and again till we reach the point of denial.

Vows, broken words, in fact the face of our invention. Written all over us till the day we find another path to bleed on.

Every day we die in silence, covering the parts that we left incomplete. A four letter word “hope”, as a reminder for waiting for that one last closure to decease the memories of what we called a part of our lives. No matter how many chains we break, they remain eternal.

Just to breath we create a mnemonic to save us from extinction and what we were and what we are in the memories that we hold.

After several trials in my court of mind, yesterday wasn’t the day I forget you. Today had nothing different than yesterday. And tomorrow isn’t the day I forgive you.

Miss you 

If I was to be honest, 

I can’t deny the fact that I’m loving it here in this beautiful city, 

I always imagined us together here, 

But that’s how life is, 

Now I only hear your name in the echoes that exist in my head and in the silences that I experience every day, 

Even in the most busy moments and exciting times, 

I take a moment to breath and bring your thoughts to life, 

As I walk through these stores, images of me shopping for you are refreshed. 

I miss you very much, but I guess I always will. 

No matter what every corner of the world I go to. 

I’ll always have you at the back of my mind, 

As I have loved you with all my heart and soul, I have nothing left for anyone else,

I can never feel the same for any other human being.

You truly were my life and my strength, some part of me agrees that you still are. 

I guess that’s how love works at times, 

A destruction that you never wanted but was simply gifted to your plate, 

As of this day we are miles apart from each other, 

Unaware of one another, 

Every inch of you is alive in my memories and in my heartache. 

Buildings. 

Walking through this busy city, 

I see tall and old buildings, 

Structures that were built long before my existence, 

Rotting old bricks, 

A beauty within the color that has faded, 

As I walk pass through them i see them looking down at me, 

Every brick with a story of its own, 

Skeletons walking down the stream, 

Each one of us so occupied that we don’t even look at them for th tales they have to share. 

Even I’m unaware of the belongings and the surroundings, 

As the sun goes down and the moon comes up,

Tearing the clouds and sharing its light, 

We see these buildings lighting up,

Almost as if they are all smiling at us, 

God, 

The beauty of these buildings in that moments is something that cannot be described in words, 

It can only be felt.

For among the millions they stand alone. 

Sometimes I want to sit there and stare at them,

Ask them questions about their existence, 

Even though the echoes and silences is the only answer I’ll get from them. 

I still have a wish to sit with them and talk. 

For they are the ones who’ve seen more than us. 

A sinking heart

A heart that sinks even now, 

Surely there’s something still alive, 

Feeding itself on something unwanted, 

With no future to hold, 

No destiny to bestow, 

Drowning but floating for as long as it can, 

Hopes that never shatter, 

Waiting for those shadows to fade away, 

When the nights are over, 

There will be a new light, 

Don’t be so sure yet, 

As the world you live and built will collide,

Until you form a new one. 

Different but not wrong 

You and me, 

We’re not wrong, 

We’re just different now, 

Our beliefs have changed, 

Our trusts have dissolved, 

But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the same for you, 

I still do, 

You can blame me for everything if you like, 

I’d be happy to accept all that disturbs you, 

Even though I’ve done nothing but care for you, 

But that’s my religion, 

That’s my thought of chain,

You can believe whatever that satisfies your emotions, 

I would never hold you responsible for feelings things, 

As I know that you are as beautiful inside as you are from the outside, 

For what I know of you, 

You need not worry about that. 

I’ve kept those secrets with me, 

And I plan to keep them forever and ever. 

They will never be mentioned, 

Yes I still feel them and think about that but that doesn’t give me any right to bring those words out. 

And mind you, 

I don’t.

But I don’t have any complaints from you, 

You wanted a better life, 

I’m sure you have one now. 

Happy and smiling, 

Like you deserve it. 

You’re not meant to be kept in a nest. 

You are the will to free, 

You are what shines the brightest up in the sky. 

I hope to see you there, 

Or at least that’s what I always look for. 

Keep smiling and head up mera beta. 

She was but not anymore

She was a heart full of joy

A stream of love and purity

A cold breeze for a sunny day

A shadow for the bright lights,

Precious as a rare stone in a desert,

She was everything that a heart can ask for,

beautiful to touch,

charismatic to every soul around,

A smile to die for,

She was like a beautiful painting in a museum that you can stare at for hours,

but never claim,

she is there,

so are we,

she was once mine,

but now she’s not.

i still owe my everything to her.

always will.